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Kimberli [userpic]

No more

July 20th, 2006 (06:04 pm)
depressed

current location: Home
current mood: depressed
current song: tv

No more LiveJournal
No more Fan Fiction
No more Ian Thorpe
No more Star Monthly Schedule on TvNow.com
No more MySpace with Kayla
No more uploading to Photobucket
No more Batman websites
No more creating icons/avatars/wallpapers on GIMP or Photoshop
No more Fan Fiction
No more Gamefly
No more looking for stuff I can't buy in the store
No more Winamp
No more IMDB
No more blogs, Yahoo groups or messages boards
No more looking up articles on Peyton Manning
No more MP3's
No more Fan Fiction
No more Fanlistings.org
No more WikiPedia.org
No more Silent Hill websites
No more Gamefaqs.com
No more escape from reality
No more looking for pic of Marlon, Gary, Peyton...etc.
No more looking at my pics of Marlon, Gary, Peyton...etc.

and NO MORE FANFIC!!!!!!

Goodbye, Internet life. Hope you are happy Dylan. Cause you will be the only one.

Kimberli [userpic]

WHOO HOOO!!

July 9th, 2006 (09:47 pm)
grateful

current location: Goodyear
current mood: grateful
current song: nothing

*dances* Oh yeah, oh yeah!

I got A Streetcar Named Desire! I got A Streetcar Named Desire!

I was kind of upset when Cherri didn't get it but I am soooo glad Kayla got it for me! Ok, so we were at Best Buy, right? I find the movie and Guys and Dolls and talk about how much I want them blah blah blah. Then when we get back to the house Kayla gives it to me with a wonderful card! *hugs*

Note to self: Get Kayla something spectacular for her birthday.

And Italy won the World Cup! Great day.

*dances*

Kimberli [userpic]

Hmmm....

May 17th, 2006 (03:35 pm)
nervous

current location: Uh, my house
current mood: nervous
current song: Tv

Ah, I woke up this morning in a good mood despite all the yelling outside my door. Last night I had a dream with Marlon Brando in it and I do not remember much but it was good. I think he was Stanley Kowalski because he had the wife-beater on and everything but I think he only looked like him. Then it took me a couple minutes to remember the dream but when I did I felt great. I know it sounds stupid but it was like he was apart of me for a second and I felt him on a personal level. *sigh* I love to dream.

Well, time to update you on the recent events.

1. I recently got a USB drive for free at Wal-Mart that totally kicks ass.

2. Brandon's Pox is officially gone but when he went to his dad's he brought home a stomach bug. He had it, Allie had it, Cherri had it and I think I had it so thank goodness the throwing up has ceased for the moment.

3. And finally I got a MySpace web page on Saturday. Yep, Kayla joined and since I had a crappy previous six days I decided to join with her. I uploaded the pics, made my A Streetcar Named Desire layout and added everybody. A couple days after I joined I got a message from a guy who said I was beautiful and we could chat. I haven't sent him a reply yet because I am terrified that he is lying or something. But I checked out his page and it sends you to his site for his music. He really seems....great. Plus, he has a guest book and every entry I read is in the 16-25 telling him how hot he is. LOL I just wish I knew what to do and say!!

Kimberli [userpic]

You make me sad. So be it. Come Patsy!

April 24th, 2006 (09:09 am)
stressed

current mood: stressed

Oh, what a weekend.

About 1:30 in the afternoon on Friday, I was at the computer browsing for Colts/Peyton websites....when I noticed that the left side of Brandon's face had red spots on it. After further investigating, the red spots were on his shoulders, chest and literally covering his back! At this point, I picked up Allie and raised my voice in alarm of his obvious disease. I then called his mother (because my mother was asleep), Alan, Kayla and even my Grandma Judy in Utah who I have seen three times. Based on their opinions, my own eyes and Brandon's testimony our conclusion was that he has the Chickenpox. Except for Alan who think it might have been an allergic reaction.

When mom awoke, we went through the drama of treating my neurotic nephew who "oohed", "owed" and told us to stop when we applied the lotion. We soothed him and put him on his little bed in the living room so covered in pink he looked like a science project. Poor little guy. I am afraid I might be in his shoes very soon as Mom can't remember if I had Chickenpox or the Measles! Well, it's either me getting this disease or Allie or Alan.

Soon he feel asleep and I was left to wonder what would happen the rest of the night. As usual I had to think about what Cherri would be doing that night instead of watching her now very ill child and baby girl. Before the Chickenpox, she was going to go to school and then go with The Eric to the tattoo shop. Now with Brandon needing his mother, I hoped in vain that she would stay home and help me with him. The problem with this is that when you politely ask her for her help in raising her children she yells, argues, and fights you until you give in because her social life is the most important thing in the world to her. In other words, she probably just wants to get away from us altogether as much as she can. Then with these reactions she says I am the one who gets mad about the Brandon and Allie! 

Anyway, since you can't comprise with her she said she would go to school for only an hour and then come home to eat the Safeway pizza. So I was duped again and I lost my appetite. Oh well, you can't have it both ways of course. But sometimes I think, no I know, that what I see of my sister in this house is a masquerade and this is not who she wants to be. I'll leave it at that before I get carried away. To add to all this, she was supposed to be moving out her place this month into our house because of the robbery but she kept putting it off. So she packing almost the entire weekend and she still has a lot more to go with only a week to go.  

Now that night with Brandon was easy compared to the next night. Earlier that day was the first time he cried because he has so many of the bumps on his back that hurt. He was still crying later and he wanted his mother who was at work. I put in the tub to give him on of those oatmeal baths that make the itching go away and he felt much better. But then it came time for bed and he was miserable. Cherri was over at the house still packing and Mom was at work so I really didn't know what to do. Good thing she called though and told me to give him some Tylenol so he could sleep better. It didn't really work as when I was trying to watch Batman, he was tossing and turning. An hour after that when I was watching Dr. Strangelove he was still tossing and turning! Eventually, I think, he just tired himself out and finally feel asleep. 

Of course, it didn't last long as he woke himself up and starting crying because he was so uncomfortable. Even when Mom came home (which was about midnight), she couldn't get him to calm down and sleep. He was in tears again and screaming for Cherri who had yet to come home. At this point, Alan was awake so they went over to her house and she had fallen asleep on the couch. She had a long story in the morning to tell everyone but I wasn't listening. There really wasn't any time as we had to move in all her furniture and some of the kids stuff. Now the living room is a lot smaller and I am really worried about where to put everything in this house because it's hard to fit seven people in a three bedroom house. I can't decide if I have agoraphobia because I have difficulty moving out or getting a job or if I have claustrophobia because I am hyperventilating over this confined house! Oy. I hope when I move out all I have is a mattress, my PS2, my books, a library card and my clothes.

To sum up, I might be complaining on here a lot in the very near future. But at least I have some distractions for when I find some time to be alone. I am halfway through Kingdom Hearts II with 20+ hours of play and I watched The Simpson's last night. And I can't forget The Godfather trilogy on AMC. Oh, even though I love Marlon and Part I, Al Pacino and Part II was amazing. Part II was definitely darker and if Al Pacino had been ten or so years older I would consider it better then the first. But you can't top Marlon as Vito in my opinion. *sigh*

Kimberli [userpic]

Nice night

April 4th, 2006 (07:46 pm)
uncomfortable

current mood: uncomfortable
current song: SpoungeBob movie on Tv

Well, just got done with dinner. A nice pink steak. I still can't believe we found that in our bag when we got home from Albertsons. Best free steak I ever had. lol

Overall, a nice night. Alli is ready for bed and in with Grandpa so it's somewhat nice and quiet. It's just Brandon, Dylan and I out here watching The Spongebob Movie. Speaking of which, no I probably will never get tired of that movie and I am off to find King Neptune pics for user pics. So far, the pickings are slim.

Sadly, my Marlon Brando set went back to library today so that means tonight I will finally start the Kingdom Hearts II game that I have had since friday. Before I get off the subject of Marlon I just want to apologize for the lack luster tribute to him for his birthday yesterday.

But right now I need to get offline as I have been on-line almost all day and give Kingdom Hearts II some love.

P.S. GIMP is HARD!! lol

Good night.

Kimberli [userpic]

He'll made you an offer you can't refuse

April 3rd, 2006 (12:12 pm)
nostalgic

current mood: nostalgic
current song: nothing

Today let us all take time out of our busy day to remember Marlon Brando. Born on April 3, 1924 he grew up to become a screen legend who inspired a generation of American actors. So much so that in a recent UK television Channel 4 poll done by other actors he was named the World's Greatest Actor. He died on on July 1, 2004. He was 80 years old.

Marlon Brando
1924-2004

Kimberli [userpic]

A little rant about yesterday

April 1st, 2006 (10:26 am)
cynical

current mood: cynical
current song: Phantom of the Opera in my head

I despise possessions and the slavery to them that comes with it.

I loathe cars and their ability to suck the money and the sanity out of people.

I am uncomfortable that I have to explain to my nephew why the PS2 was stolen....again.

I am disgusted that my sister has to take out one of the worst days of her life that she had yesterday on us. Especially on her children.

I am mad at myself that I have been unable to console her and that I just forced my views on her instead.

But mostly I am just mad that I blame the objects for the behavior of people. Our attachment, our mistakes, our emotions (or the complete lack of it), our ignorance, our indifference and our helplessness.

And I am upset that secretly I am just waiting for all this to be over so I don't have to deal with it.

Maybe this whole rant that I have is really all about me.

That is all.

Kimberli [userpic]

Happy St. Patrick's Day

March 17th, 2006 (08:45 pm)
relaxed

current mood: relaxed
current song: Marian Anderson in my head

Well, I had a nice time today. I actually posted in another journal for the first time in a few years so I was pretty nervous that I would sound like an idiot. Hopefully it's not the case.

-I called mom today and straightened everything out with Cherri so she can go on her date with "The Eric" Sunday night. Mom said her fighting with us yesterday gave her a headache so I didn't want to make it two days in a row.

-Got dressed up in my new "Lush of the Irish" shirt Cherri got me at Steve & Barry's for St. Patrick's Day but mercifully without the Irish accent today.

-I am also trying to update my user info as it is dreadfully outdated. Ugh, it needs some redoing.

-We also got dinner from The Bamboo Palace's buffet today to literally feed my recent Chinese cuisine obsession. Especially egg rolls.

-Kayla and I finally got around to watching The Simpsons episode Lisa's Wedding. We haven't seen it in years since it doesn't seem to be on tv that much. After all these years though it is still my favorite episode.

Even though I am still steaming about Cherri right now, I feel oddly peaceful. Maybe it is because Allie is asleep or I am just at my Aunt's house far away from a lot of problems that seem like they are never going to go away. The only problem over here is that my PS2 isn't with me. *sigh*

Kimberli [userpic]

Long time, no write

March 13th, 2006 (05:00 pm)
bitchy

current mood: bitchy
current song: You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban (in my head)

Well, here I am again. Haven't written since.....2002!?! Whoo, am I neglectful? Anyway, is that enough of a pretend-like-I-care-about-not-writing intro yet? All right, lets get to it then.

To start off, I brought ALL of my Simpsons DVD's as well as The Shining for Mandy so she can watch them while I am over here for a week and what does she do? Leave for a week back where I live, that is what! So no watching The Simpsons and no Calla for me. I barely get to see enough of her as it is. Second of all, I am really upset with Cherri but then I always am. Cherri just laughs, shops and complains about Brian with an "i", her Bryan with an "y", going to school, dealing with homework and how lonely she is....blah blah. Meanwhile while she just sits on her ass, Mom is exhausted dealing with her and doing things for her to make her life easier to do all the things she complains about.

I try not to complain because I know I have it very easy. No bills, no school, no car, no income tax and no job. All I want to do is get out of the house so Mom doesn't have to take care of me anymore. So maybe she can rest more and not have to work so damn much. Get away from Alan too and his thinking that all I do is torture Dylan. Moving out would really fix that problem. Other than that everything is just fine for me. No boyfriend to worry about and no kids to raise and be on my own. Just me and my PS2. But something inside of me really wants Brandon and Allison to move out with me. No matter how much they can drive you up a wall or make you mad sometimes I just feel like I can do a good job.

Ah, well this made me feel a little better. Maybe I won't delete it for good just yet.

Kimberli [userpic]

Picture fades

November 13th, 2002 (02:05 pm)
rejected

current mood: rejected
current song: Tv

Natalie: What's the last thing that you do remember?
Leonard Shelby: My wife...
Natalie: That's sweet.
Leonard Shelby: ...dying

Leonard Shelby: I have to believe in a world outside my own

Leonard Shelby: We all need mirrors to remind ourselves who we are. I'm no different.

Leonard Shelby: So how.. How can I heal? How am I supposed to heal if I can't feel time?

Leonard Shelby: The world doesn't just disappear when you close your eyes, does it?

Leonard Shelby: I don't think they let people in my condition carry a gun.
Teddy: Fuckin' hope not.

Leonard Shelby: I use discipline and drive to make my life possible.

Teddy: (checking Leonard's pulse) You're living
Leonard Shelby: Only for revenge.

Leonard Shelby: I've probably burned truck loads of your stuff before. Can't remember to forget you.

Leonard Shelby: Now... where was I?


Not only does this movie have a great music score but it has the most beautiful script. How I love this movie. So full of morals.

Right now I need morals, I guess. One minute I am so happy then completely sad. Why can't one or the other be steady? I've noticed lots of people on the internet are similar and thats the problem: the internet. I need to stop spending so much time on it. After a year and a half, it's not that easy. It's become a pain in the ass. This journal itself is a pain in the ass and I want to neglect it. Or maybe just a certain part of it. Actually I have been and I haven't read my friends page in weeks. It's hard though. I've grown used to it and customized it. It's mine. From now on, that's how I want to think of it. Instead of writing from what people will think of it, I want to write for the sake of writing Goddammit. But it's boring now and I want to delete it at this moment. I don't know when or if I really mean this but right now I do and want to move on with my life.

To all who want to hear it, I am sorry for being selfish and I am not trying to be happy. Happiness is irrelevant. I don't wanna be happy, I just want to be me and think for myself again. I miss it. I want to spend a fraction on the internet than I do now. Just an hour at the end of the day or something. So I guess that leaves no time for this LiveJournal.

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